Back in the saddle

 It seems the only time I really get interested in writing in this journal again is during times of transition. 

The election results threw me - I had more faith in people - which I now know was misplaced.  Greed, selfishness, deceit, misogyny, and pedophilia rule the day.  Women and babies are expendable.  Pseudo-Christians rule the day..all while lining their own pockets. 

Not electing a woman president tells you that this country would prefer to be in the dark ages of ignorance allowing the oligarchy to rule.  And it will.  

All this as I am trying to transition into retirement.  I'm not sure I AM going to retire this coming year. I don't trust the system.  I think I need to just work until it all falls apart.   Part of me wants to buy a home outright up by the Canadian border - yes I know it's cold, but chemo left me with an inability to tolerate heat.  I'd rather snuggle up with a cat in front of the fireplace with a good and a lantern, than trying to find someplace cool. 

The truth of it is I am scared out of my mind for the future.  My youngest and his wife called me last weekend telling me that they are no longer going to try to get pregnant and will be seeking permanent sterilization because they live in one of 'those states' where women can bleed out if they have pregnancy complications and no one will lift a finger to intervene.   And they want to make these laws nationals.  

The nausea that statement engenders - I just can't even.   I'd rather my kids and their wives are healthy and alive than to worry about no grandchildren.  With the state of the world, global warming - I do not find it a bad thing to say my genetic line is at an end.  




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